A Twisted World
by Lailanna Vardaithil
Summary: *Complete* Ever wonder what'd happen if Legolas came to New York City? Well, this is what my mind thought up. Rated PG13 for violence and not too much swearing, but a little.
1. The Opening Words

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Lord of the Rings characters, places, etc. There, I said it. No law suites, please.  
  
A/N: This story takes place during FotR, when the company finds the door into Moria (we all know that going there is a bad idea). Please read and review, or I'll never know if it sucks or not and I'll just keep on writing crappy-ass stories.  
  
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Far From Home  
  
Chapter 1: The Opening Words  
  
The Fellowship had halted at the arch of intertwined Elven letters; the door into Moria. They had been looking for the way into Moria for quite some time. When they had begun, it had been daylight, it was now dark and the moon was high.  
  
"This is surely the door into Moria." Announced Gimli.  
  
"But what do the letters say?" Asked Frodo.  
  
"They say 'The doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend and enter." Replied the wise wizard, Gandalf.  
  
"What does that mean? Speak, friend and enter?" Pondered Merry.  
  
"That is plain enough," Replied Gimli. "It simply means that a friend may speak the password and enter."  
  
"But do you know the word, Gandalf?" Asked Boromir.  
  
"No, I fear that I do not." Was the wizards reply.  
  
The others looked alarmed and worried, all save for Aragorn. He knew the clever wizard well, and did not doubt in his ability.  
  
"How are we to go on then?" Demanded Boromir. "What is the point of bringing us here to this forsaken spot? You told us that you had been through the mines before. How can this be if you do not know the password?"  
  
"The answer to your first question, Boromir, is that I do not know the password-yet. And, I did not enter this way, I came from the East." Responded Gandalf, with an unmistakable gleam in his eyes.  
  
"What are you going to do, then?" Asked Pippin, his curiosity getting the better of him.  
  
"Knock on the doors with your head, Pippin. And if that does not work, then give me peace from your foolish questions and I will seek the opening words."  
  
While Gandalf set to work, attempting to open the doors, Legolas drifted away from the group. He wished to have a little time to himself, away from the bickering of the group. He sat on a log, near the lake, none of the others taking notice of him.  
  
"Annon edhellen, edro ammen!" Commanded the wizard, unaware that the words he had spoken would have an unknown effect on Legolas.  
  
Legolas startled as a queer shimmering light suddenly surrounded him. He barely had time to wonder what was going on before the rift in reality, which Gandalf's words had created, swallowed him and he was no longer in Middle-earth at all. No one else made any notice that anything had happened at all.  
  
  
  
Legolas blinked and looked around him. Where the hell was he? All around him loomed giant structures that were reflecting the color and scenery around them. High up, there were blinking, bright signs of colors that he had never seen before. Horns blared and Legolas jumped at the spectacle behind him. Strange, deafening machines with people in them were moving quickly in a line down a dark road. Completely baffled as to why he was there, Legolas looked helplessly around him.  
  
"Watch it, freak!" Said a rude pedestrian, who roughly pushed Legolas out of him way.  
  
One thing Legolas now noticed about everyone on the sidewalk, was that they were all dressed entirely different from him. He spotted a woman wearing a skirt that was so short; it never would never have been permitted in his father's court.  
  
Not really sure what to do, Legolas got inside one of those bright yellow machines, and sat down awkwardly when it stopped in front of him.  
  
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A/N: That was a little weird, but it's not like I have any homework to do or anything.......  
  
Should I write more? Review, or I won't. Oh, all right, you got me, I plan on writing more anyway. I'm not good at making threats, even shallow ones. 


	2. N.Y.C. Is Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

Chapter 2: N.Y.C. Is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be  
  
Legolas looked out the window of the strange 'car' that he was in. The young driver seemed to think that he was crazy when he had asked what it was. Also, although Legolas failed to mention that he was a prince, the driver treated him very uncouthly.  
  
"I had no idea that a ren fest was in town." The driver 'Bob' commented. Legolas said nothing; he really did not know what the man was talking about. "So, where to?"  
  
Knowing deep down that Bob would have no idea what he was speaking of, Legolas decided to give it a go anyway. "Mirkwood would be satisfactory if you do not know the way to Moria."  
  
Bob scoffed at this. "No, really, man. Where are you headed?"  
  
Legolas sighed. This was getting tedious. He had a million questions swimming through his head and no answers to go along with them.  
  
"Dude, if you don't know where you're going, then I'm gonna have to let you out. If you figure it out, just get another cab." Bob shook his head and laughed at Legolas, obviously thinking that he was nuts. He stopped what Legolas now knew was a car and after Legolas got out, he sped away.  
  
Legolas barely had time to register that he was on a reasonably dark and deserted street, when he heard a woman scream. He rushed to where he thought the sound was coming from; an isolated, grimy alley. In the alley, a young woman with long dark hair was trying to free her arm, which a tall, well-built man held tightly in his grasp. Three other men stood away, partially hidden in the shadows.  
  
"I said no! Now would you just let me go?" She cried, slapping the man hard across the face with her free hand.  
  
"You're going to pay for that, bitch. This is how you treat me, after all I've done for you? You know that no one ever walks away from me." The man sneered and threw the woman hard against a brick wall. She groaned and slid to the ground, a trickle of blood running down her face.  
  
Legolas pulled a long arrow from his quiver and fitted it to his bow. "I would not take one step nearer to her, unless you wish to feel my arrow pierce your heart."  
  
The man turned and laughed mockingly at Legolas. "Fuck off, buddy." When Legolas made no move to leave, he said, "Where the hell did you come from, 1562?" He said, giving Legolas' clothes a menacing glance. "Kill him."  
  
The man's friends in the shadows move out of their fractional hiding places and approached Legolas, each pulling out a gun. Legolas, of course had no idea what a gun was.  
  
"Look out!" The woman yelled at Legolas.  
  
Legolas made quick work of the three men. Faster than a mortal could blink, one of the three men had dropped his gun and was staring gapingly at the arrow through his hand. A split second later, the other two men both had arrows through their right shoulders, causing them also to drop their weapons. Legolas swiftly knocked out the lone standing man, with one sharp backhand.  
  
"It looks as if your back-up is found lacking." Commented Legolas, turning back to the man threatening the woman.  
  
Enraged, the man rushed at Legolas, drawing a long switchblade. "Pity, I didn't want to get my hands dirty."  
  
Legolas drew his own sword, pleased at the surprised look on the man's face. "Come on then," Legolas taunted. "Kill me."  
  
"Don't mind if I do." He leapt at Legolas, and sent the blade towards Legolas' heart with a powerful swing, meant to kill him.  
  
Legolas held his sword near the tip and used it almost like a staff to block the blow. The clash of the metal caused deep vibrations up the man's arms, but he was far from done. He brought his blade down again in a similar blow, but this time Legolas was more prepared. He sidestepped, leaving the man swinging at empty air. Legolas rammed his elbow in the man's face, breaking his nose with a satisfying crunch. It would heal, of course, but only if Legolas let him live for long enough.  
  
He grabbed the man by the back of his jacket's collar and brought his sword's blade to rest at his neck.  
  
"Don't kill him!" Shouted the woman, astonishing Legolas.  
  
"But he tried to hurt you."  
  
"I know... It's just wrong."  
  
Legolas obeyed, slamming the man's face once into the brick wall, rendering him unconscious, and then letting him slide to the ground.  
  
The woman let out a deep sigh. "I don't know how to thank you.''  
  
"You could start by telling me your name." Legolas suggested.  
  
The woman smiled. "It's Tiffany Hayes. What's yours?"  
  
"Legolas Greenleaf." He replied.  
  
Tiffany studied Legolas closely. She wouldn't have been lying to say that he was the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen. With his silky blond hair, pale radiant features and almost glowing blue eyes, he looked so innocent. Nothing as beautiful could ever have an evil drop of blood in it. She was startled to find herself thinking this way; she'd seen what he had just done. He clearly wasn't as innocent as he seemed.  
  
"Hmmm, that sounds so familiar." She said, realizing that she must have been staring. "You're not from around here are you? What brings you to New York City?"  
  
So, New York City was were he was. Legolas still did not know where he was, really, but he decided not to show it. He shrugged and said, "I just came from Mirkwood."  
  
"Mirkwood? That's in Iowa, right?"  
  
Once again, Legolas did not answer. "Who was that man trying to hurt you?"  
  
"Mark Hastings." Tiffany replied. "He told me that he could make me a movie star. He lied. Now I just can't get rid of him, he keeps having his cronies following me and stuff. I hope that'll get rid of him." She gestured at the comatose bodies behind them. "Legolas, look, you're hurt. We'd better get you to a hospital."  
  
Legolas looked down at his arm, which he hadn't noticed had a deep cut there. Blood was soaking through his tunic, but he was unalarmed, he had had much worse. "Do not worry about that, it will heal by morning."  
  
Tiffany rolled her eyes and muttered, "Guys, always gotta play Superman. Where do you live?"  
  
"Nowhere here." Legolas answered back, a little sadly.  
  
"Oh. Well, I guess you can stay at my place for the night. Mark's people will be after you if you stay out here and it's after midnight. I warn you though, it isn't much."  
  
With that, she took his arm and led him away from the alley. 


	3. Who's Orlando Bloom?

A/N: Grace, you're in this chapter. Sorry, only a small role. I hope I don't offend you or anything.  
  
I changed the title, before it didn't really fit, plus I just didn't like it before. (It used to be called "An Elven Prince in New York.)  
  
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Chapter 3: Who's Orlando Bloom?  
  
Along the way to Tiffany's apartment, Tiffany's nosiness got the better of her.  
  
"Legolas, sorry if I offend you, but I gotta know what's up with your clothes. And ears."  
  
Knowing that she knew nothing of Middle-earth and telling her would worry her of his sanity, Legolas merely said, "I belong to a renaissance fair."  
  
"Oh, cool." She reached up and traced his ear lightly with her finger. "These feel so real."  
  
When Legolas failed to reply, she added, "So, you're obviously the strong, silent type. Well, here we are." She gestured at an aged three- story brick building in front of them. As she led him in, she paused in the grungy lobby, and waved at another tenant who was seated in a tattered armchair, reading.  
  
"Grace, what are you doing out here so late?"  
  
The other girl wore a relieved expression on her face. "I was waiting for you, I was gonna call the police soon. Y'know with Hastings...." She stopped abruptly and fixed her gaze on Legolas. "Uh, Tiff, is that who I think it is?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Grace! This is Legolas Greenleaf, he works in a renaissance fair."  
  
"Ha ha, you have got to be kidding me! Tiff, don't you know who Legolas Greenleaf is?" She rose from her chair and raced over, hugging Legolas tightly.  
  
Both Legolas and Tiffany were a little taken aback. Tiffany because she didn't know why the name Legolas was so familiar and Legolas because he had a strange woman latched tightly around him.  
  
Grace let Legolas go, a little embarrassed. "Oh, sorry, I bet you get that all the time, Orli."  
  
"Orli?" Asked Tiffany, now completely perplexed.  
  
"Well, this is Orlando Bloom, y'know, the guy from the Lord of the Rings movies. Wow, he's got the bow and everything."  
  
"I am not Orlando Bloom, whoever he may be." Insisted Legolas.  
  
"Oh, I am so sorry!" She said giving him a look the told him that she really didn't believe him. "You must be used to it, though. You look so much like him. I can't even tell the difference." She paused and looked him up and down, with a suspicious look on her face. "Your name isn't really Legolas Greenleaf is it? Whoa, your parents musta been on crack! And the costume..."  
  
Legolas chose to say nothing in response to the pretty girl's comments. What a confusing world this was.  
  
"Yeah, listen Grace; you have to keep this quiet. Mark was very out of hand. Legolas saved my life. Legolas is going to stay here, he's kinda temporarily homeless. If Mark comes around asking..."  
  
"I saw nothing."  
  
"Exactly. Thanks, girl, you're a lifesaver!"  
  
"No prob, Tiff. Anything I can do, just ask. You poor thing, I don't see why you don't just kill the bastard. It would be self-defense, you'd get off, if you even got caught in the first place."  
  
Legolas could see a phantom of a smile play on Tiffany's lips before it vanished and was replaced by a sad look. "It's too late for that." She said remorsely. "I never should have gotten involved with him."  
  
"It'll be okay, Tiff."  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Tiffany said bitterly. "Come on, Legolas, you must be bushed."  
  
With that, Legolas let her lead him wordlessly out of the lobby and towards her apartment, leaving Grace staring after them, shaking her head. He distinctly heard her mutter, "Not Orlando Bloom! Ha, my ass he isn't." 


	4. Twisted World

Chapter 4: Twisted World  
  
Tiffany unlocked her door. "Sorry, the place is a sty." She apologized ahead of time.  
  
Inside the apartment was dark and drab. It was also practically bare. There were two rooms, the kitchen was joined with a bedroom and the other room was a bathroom. "Have a seat." She commanded, dropping her purse on a chair and rummaging through a closet.  
  
Legolas did as she bid him, looking around amazedly at the contents of the room. She returned a moment later, with a bundle of clothes and blankets. She set the blankets on the couch and handed Legolas the clothes. "Here, I hope these fit you, a friend left them here. I didn't think you'd want to keep those on."  
  
She left the apartment, saying that she would be right back and Legolas studied the clothes in his arms. He slipped out of his tunic, grimacing slightly when the fabric that was stuck to his cut with dried blood pulled off. He took off his pants too.  
  
Just then, Tiffany came back into the room, wearing plaid loose pants and a short-sleeved shirt similar to the ones he had seen others wearing on the street, earlier. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of Legolas' naked form, his back turned to her. He turned, sensing her presence. "Oh, sorry." She blushed. "I thought you'd change in the bathroom."  
  
Tiffany averted her gaze and Legolas finished dressing, laughing inwardly at her discomfort. "That cut looks bad," she said, trying to change the subject. "I'll go find the first aid kit."  
  
Legolas barely even bothered to speculate what a first aid kit was, he was getting used to the idea that here was nothing like home and he would have to accept it.  
  
He soon found that a first aid kit was a box of medical supplies. Tiffany cleaned his cut and bandaged it. "Would you really have killed Hastings?" She asked, pressing a large gauze bandage gently onto the wound.  
  
"Why would I not? He has killed before and he wished to harm you. I do not understand this world."  
  
"I don't think any of us truly do." Tiffany replied.  
  
"Why do you let him take control of your life in this way? Surely, someone would have been able to help."  
  
"Hastings is a powerful man, he has ties everywhere. Trust me, if you had killed him, you'd be lying dead in an alley somewhere. Maybe not tonight, but they'd have gotten you sometime. It's a good thing that you were wearing that costume, now no one will be able to recognize you."  
  
Legolas nodded and glanced down at the strange garments that he was wearing. Tiffany had referred to them as boxer shorts and a tee shirt. He assumed that these were normal clothes to wear while sleeping, in this strange world called New York City. At least Tiffany seemed not to think that he was this man called Orlando Bloom.  
  
"Well, I'm gonna turn in." Tiffany said. She had made him a comfortable looking bed on the 'sofa', earlier.  
  
She started to get up, then stopped herself. She leaned over and gave Legolas a quick kiss on the cheek. She pulled back, looking slightly embarrassed and opened her mouth as if to apologize. Before she could say anything, Legolas' lips were on hers, his tongue begging her entrance. Tiffany opened her mouth and moaned slightly as his tongue tangled with hers. Legolas ran his hands over her body, breathing in her scent. He had never smelled another like her in Middle-earth. She smelled of vanilla and something delicious that he could not quite recognize.  
  
When they finally parted, Tiffany smiled, stood and said, "I'll see you in the morning."  
  
Legolas smiled back, slightly disappointed, but sure that things would soon go his way. "Good night."  
  
"Actually, it's morning, but good night anyway."  
  
Just then, the room was awash in a hail of gunshots. All the windows shattered and Tiffany screamed and fell to the floor before Legolas even knew what was happening. He could see blood saturating the front of her white shirt, as the deafening sounds filled his overly sensitive ears. He reached over and cradled her head in his arms, feeling for a pulse and finding none.  
  
He could hear a voice laughing behind him as the firing halted. He whirled around to see Mark Hastings standing before him, wearing a malevolent sneer.  
  
"Looks like we got the bitch." He said with his smile still intact. Legolas fumed as he swept his gaze over Tiffany's still form. "Too bad we missed you. I should have known the whore would bring you home."  
  
Legolas could feel the pure rage burning at his insides. His only friend here in this strange new world had been murdered. He could not imagine why this man had wanted her dead so much. She had had a pure heart, not even allowing Legolas to kill the man who had tried to hurt her.  
  
This world was so unjust. That someone as loving as Tiffany should lay dead while her killer lived to laugh about an innocent's death was iniquitous. If this was her world, he found that he had no taste for it.  
  
The only thing that Legolas could think to do was to even the score. Mark Hastings would breathe his last at Legolas' hands.  
  
"She told me not to kill you," Legolas said, allowing his hatred to show. "But she cannot stop me now."  
  
He slowly reached for his sword as Hastings continued to taunt him.  
  
"I warned her, all she had to do was do as I said. Don't look so mad, Blondie. You obviously got what you wanted from her. It really is a shame that you crossed me, now you have to die."  
  
As Legolas caught sight of the gun Hastings was pulling from his jacket, Legolas lunged at him, blade drawn. He hardly noticed the loud shot and sharp pain in his abdomen; he was so blinded by abhorrence.  
  
To Hastings surprise, Legolas did not slow at the shot he had taken to the stomach. Legolas tackled him to the floor and thrust his sword through the man's stomach. Hastings' eyes widened with both pain and shock. He once more squeezed the trigger, his weapon aimed at Legolas. He slumped to the floor, a look of satisfaction on his face as Legolas did the same. 


	5. Balance Is Restored

A/N: Sorry if this is a little sad. Do not flame me, I never said this'd be all sunshine and roses. The lyrics at the beginning are from "Heaven' s Coming Down" by the fabulous band, The Tea Party. It just seems to fit this story, don't you think?  
  
  
  
Chapter 5: Balance Is Restored  
  
So strange are the ways,  
  
They all have changed  
  
Still life it stays the same  
  
A break from the past  
  
Could make it last  
  
Maybe just a little longer  
  
You surrender  
  
Love under will  
  
Rest assured you're adored  
  
And it feels now  
  
Just like heaven's coming down  
  
Your soul shakes free  
  
As its conscience hits the ground  
  
This time no tears,  
  
Just one last chance to see you prove  
  
Stay strong, no fears  
  
There is a change that's coming through  
  
Hold on my love  
  
Hold on...  
  
  
  
Legolas lay on the floor of Tiffany's apartment. He had never felt such pain in all his 2,931 years of life. The real pain came not from the bullet wounds that were slowly draining his immortal life, but from the knowledge that he had failed.  
  
He had not saved Tiffany; she now lay dead across the room. He would not even make it home to Middle-earth to aid the Fellowship. The worst feeling was that he did not even know how he came to be in this world.  
  
He strained to turn his head as he heard Hastings sputter and cough up blood behind him. At least he could take some satisfaction in knowing that he had avenged the death of Tiffany. It is a shame, for the bittersweet taste of revenge could not coax him out of his anger and sadness.  
  
Silence fell as Hastings took his last ragged breath. Legolas did not even feel the searing pain anymore. Coldness had consumed him and he could no longer feel anything else but the iciness. He could see strange blue and red flashing lights and briefly wondered if he was hallucinating.  
  
As he lay there, soaked in both the blood of himself and Hastings, his last thought as the scene around him faded into darkness was of Valinor: would he even be able to reach the eternal resting place of the Elves from this world?  
  
Legolas opened his eyes slowly, quite surprised to find that he was opening them at all. All around his were the faces of those he thought he had lost and for a moment, he thought he was in Valinor.  
  
"Legolas? Are you alright?" Asked a nervous Pippin.  
  
"Don't be dumb, why would he be lying on the ground if he was ok?" Scolded Merry.  
  
Legolas found that he was lying on the ground, as Merry had said. He sat up. He was once more in Middle-earth, more specifically, at the door to Moria.  
  
"Legolas?" Aragorn asked when Legolas just stared around, saying nothing.  
  
"I am alright." Legolas stated, getting up.  
  
"We think that one of Gandalf's attempts to open the doors had a queer effect on you." Said Pippin.  
  
"I should say it did." Legolas muttered sadly to himself. He couldn't bring himself to say what had really happened to him. Would they even believe him? Did he even believe himself? He had died. How could that be? He bit down on a velvety lip and kept back all the things he wished to say. He'd have to keep the events of the last 24 hours to himself.  
  
The End  
  
  
  
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*~*  
  
A/N: There, my first finished story here (my other one seems like I'll never finish it and I need ideas *hint, hint*). See that submit review button? Click on that and tell me what you thought, please.  
  
June 26, 2002: I'm kinda thinking of a sequel now. Good idea or bad idea? I've gotta get it worked out, but ideas are more than welcome. 


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